I was talking to my youngest son the other day and he was saying something about himself in a very negative way. I asked him why. He said “because it is like that, I am no good”. Ok, I said, but even if what you just said was true (which it wasn’t), would you have said the same to a friend of yours? Silence. “Probably not”, he answered after a while.
Why is it that we often speak more kindly to other people? We give them compliments, see their strengths and their positive sides? When our inner voice instead is often very critical and points out all the ‘wrongs’ with what we do, say, how we look, etc etc. If that voice would have been coming from a friend of ours, it would not be your friend for long, is my guess? At least it would not have been in my case.
Listen to your inner voice and make it your friend. If it is not OK for anyone else to tell you that you are no good, talk negative to you or about you, why should you let your inner voice do so?
Can you relate? Would be nice to hear your thoughts. How do you tackle your inner voice? Do you have any tricks on how to make it your friend? If so, feel free to share.
You need to take care of yourself before you start taking care of others. This is a mantra I try to hold on to, even if it is very hard sometimes. Why? Because you usually want to help others, and prioritize them. Do you recognise it? And when everyone else has had their piece of you, you are so tired you do not have any strenghts left to take care of yourself..
On a flight, they always say “Put on your own mask first, before you help others”. Because, if you faint or pass out not wearing a mask yourself, you will also not succeed in helping others. Simple as that 🙂
So what can you do to help yourself, take care of yourself? I have listed a few things below that I usually do:
Do the things that makes you happy – for me this includes yoga, gardening, running, being with family and friends, listening to music.
Move – everything that makes you move. It does not have to be a cross fit session.. a slow walk is just fine, if this is what you feel like. Moving makes your brain rewire, like a refresh button on your computer.
Sleep – get at least 7 to 8 hours sleep every night. You need those sleeping hours to rest and recover!
Drink lots of water – and skip the coffee in the evening, before going to sleep.
Be outside in nature – it is fantastic what the nature can do for you. Walk or sit in silence, meditate or just listen to the wind or birds singing. Maybe you even start to listen within, to your inner voice.
Limited news and information flow – you do not need to be informed 24-7 about what is going on. I promise. Maybe you decide that once a day is enough? Try and see how often you “need” it to make you feel your best. To NOT be online and reading information all the time is also a resting space for your brain that will actually help you think more clearly and focus on the positives instead of the negatives (that you always see on the news).
So. Self Care isn’t selfish. On the contrary. It is the best thing you can do, for yourself but also for others. They will get a happier, stronger, healthier parent/spouse/friend/other and you will both benefit from this!
Hope this blog post can help remind you of the things you already knew.. And to make you put yourself first, as priority number 1 for now on.
I just finished reading a book called “I may be wrong” from the Swedish author Björn Natthiko Lindeblad. It is about an ordinary guy who resigned from a good job and left a promising career to become a monk. His favourite quote was – this too shall pass. I think this expression is more relevant than ever in today’s changing and challenging world.
Mankind is tested to the max, first by a pandemic forcing everyone to stop socialising, keeping distance and not being able to do what we love the most, being together. To stay home, work from home, forced to stop meeting relatives and friends. Stop doing what makes us feel good. A challenge to all human kind. And we have made it. It has “passed” (meaning we are now going back to more social events and gatherings etc again).
And second, the fact that there is actually a new war in Europe. Once again, mankind is tested and challenged. But also showing that together we are strong. And hopefully, this too shall pass. Very soon.
I like to think positive. And this is why the expression This too shall pass is really speaking to me. Because no matter how hard, how difficult, how challenging, we will make it. Together. Since we never give up, we never stop striving for solving the challenges that arise. And the challenges and difficulties actually brings us even closer together, as families, as friends, as colleagues.
So never lose hope, no matter how challenging it may seem. Remember the wise words and if it speaks to you, embrace it as your mantra as well.
In times of worries and uncertainty in the world, how do you react? When your mind and body is telling you that now it is really time to fight or flight. How can you try to stay calm in a crisis? And why should you?
First, a mind in this crisis mode is not thinking clearly. The sense of urgency will make you take decisions and do things that are not as rational and well thought of, as if you keep calm.
It is the same mechanism as the sales person is using when they say “limited time offer”, “special deals”, but ONLY if you hurry up!! By making you think that this is really urgent, otherwise you will miss out on an opportunity, so there is not that much time for you to think, and think clearly. Do you really want or need what they are offering? But, before you know it, you have accepted the offer, in fear of missing out of something good! And afterwards, you wonder why you did that.
So when in a crisis, if you are able to stay calm and take control of yourself, you will keep your ability to think clearly and make good decisions.
I find it very helpful to breathe. Find that focus on the breath and concentrate on that and nothing else for as long as I can. Like a silent meditation. And it always helps. At first, the mind can wander, thoughts about this and that, but usually it gets more silent after a while, and I find my calmness again.
As always, I wish you the best. Take Care and try to Stay Calm.
My personal yoga journey started a few years ago and I can only agree with all the benefits that is mentioned is this weeks Sunday Sharing article below. Yoga helps you with both your physical and mental health, and will for sure improve your life. Happy reading. Take Care. Namaste 🙏
Besides easing back pain, here are six more crazy good benefits of doing yoga at least three times per week.
February is the month to boost your self esteem and take extra good care of yourself. It is a month with both the International Day of Self Love (Feb 13th) and yesterday it was Valentine’s Day, so February is really a month of Love! For yourself and others. So how do you take good care of yourself and remember to give yourself the love that you deserve? Often, we are very good at showing OTHERS our love, taking good care of our family, friends, our children, and almost as often, we forget about doing the same thing to ourselves. Taking good care of yourself and your well-being is also an act of love to others. They care for you as much as you care for them and one of the gifts you can give them is to take good care of – yourself and your well being! Right? 🙂 I will now give you some examples of what I like to do, to take care of myself and give me some extra love, to feel good.
Examples of how to manifest your self love:
Take a hot bubble bath, in silence or with some soft music
Read a good book
Watch a movie (my choice)
Exercise (yoga especially, but also running)
Take a walk in nature, by the sea or in the woods
Say NO to things I do not want to do
Eat good, healthy food (more vegetarian)
Drink lots of water (and try to reduce on the coffein..)
What is your way to manifest your self love? Do you have any special things that you like to do, to take extra good care of yourself?
As I wrote in the last post The Power of Now it takes practise to be in the present. Here and now. All this talk about meditation and mindfulness in everyday life, and how important this is. When reading Tolle it is staring to get more clear to me, exactly why it is so hard, and also, how to be more present.
With all of these things around us, seeking our attention, in social media, all series on Netflix or HBO, all the activities you want to attend, often because of the fear of missing out.. and that thing called mobile phone.. how much attention we give to our devices. It is crazy when you think about the shift of behaviour since these devices entered our world. But, I like it as much as everyone else, so.. you just need to be aware, and try to have a healthy approach, and someimes, take some time off from it. You really need it. Me too.
So, how do you stay present then? Well, according to Tolle you should try to focus more on your body and your emotions, instead of your mind and thoughts. As soon as you let go of your thoughts you are more present. And this is why meditation is so helpful, to get in a state of presence. To sit in stillness and silence, just feeling your body, notice the energy inside your body, without trying to understand or to think. Do not let your mind wander. Just feel. This will take some practice for sure, but by understanding that your body and mind are two different things, you are definitely on your way to a more present life.
I have not finished the book yet so will for sure get back with a last posting on this topic of presence and spiritual enlightenment that I find very fascinating. Hope you do to. If you like this topic, have any questions regarding this, then please drop me a comment below.
Thank you and wish you the best. Take Care. Namaste.
This headline is referring to the book of Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now, that I am reading. And it got me thinking a lot.. What is it that makes us live in the past or in the future instead of in the present? A lot of us, including myself, are chasing the future, and anticipate that some time in the future, things will be better! This longing for something else, to be some place else, to live with or love someone else.. We want something better, something bigger, searching for more of this or more of that.. Or we get stuck in the past. Letting things that has happened to us in the past limit us. If you have an experience where something did not go well, you failed, people treated you bad, or even, you got bullied. And you let these things limit you. Your inner voice is saying that since this happened in the past, you will never succeed with anything, ever, or you will always be treated unfair. Yes, the list can go on and on.
I have been exactly like this myself. Never being able to be really satisfied with what I got. Instead, thinking about what is to come, what to achieve next, constantly chasing for something else, that will happen in next week, next month or next year. And when this happens, THEN I will get closer to happiness, to what I really want and long for. And my life will THEN be perfect. Right? When I get that promotion, a better job, a bigger house, a faster car, etc etc.
But what if you already are in a good place? Stop. Think about what you already have. Look around you. Appreciate the people around you, the job you already have, the house you live in, and what you have already achieved. I bet it is quite an impressive list if you sum everything up? Maybe you are already living your dream life?! Enjoy what you already have. Do not let your mind wander, getting you stuck in the past or in the future. But be present. Here and now.
If you find this topic interesting, I really recommend you to read this book, if you have not already.
I love the start of a new fresh year. It is like a blank piece of paper in a new journal, that you can fill with whatever you want. Entering 2022 I have a lot of mixed emotions. Since 2021 was a strange year with the Covid virus still continuing to affect our lives. I took my first two vaccine shots during summer, and after that I started to get back more into a “normal” life again. But in December there were again a peak, with new recommendations and restrictions from the authorities. Many of my friends, family and colleagues actually have or recently had Covid, even after the vaccinations, but with very mild symptoms luckily. This is making the expectations and vision for 2022 a bit more insecure of course, although I am still thinking that we are learning to live with this new situation and getting better and better at it. We can create a good life anyway!
My yearly routine is firstly to look back at 2021 and make a real closure, a reflection of the year that has passed, like I wrote about in my last blog post Mental Closure of 2021. Then, I am spending most of my time to look ahead. I love journaling, and I keep my yearly “reviews” and goals in one and the same note book, and next year I will have done this regularly for 10 years (!). It is really fun to go back and see how the goals has changed over the years, and also, that some things keep repeating every year. I have been refining the process over the years, with more questions asked and more specific yearly targets defined in the last years. And with this, also the results have also been more specific and, I am glad to say, better as well! 🙂
Examples of questions I ask myself:
What do I want to fill this year with? Any changes vs the year before?
What do I need to do to make this the best year of my life so far?
By writing down what you envision, your goals and your dreams, you make them more real! And you can then also start by dividing them into smaller part time goals, per quarter, per month, per week or even per day. For example, a goal for 2022 is to eat more healthy/ vegetarian, a part time goal can be to eat at least one vegetarian meal per week.
Also, I like to set an intention of the year. When you have done the work with answering your questions, and defining your personal goals, you will see a pattern, that will help you define this. For instance, my intention for 2022 is to be courageous and follow my dreams and my heart. This intention, you can make into an affirmation for 2022. That is, you put “I AM” first, making it a sentence of your intention, affirming that you are already there! In my case, this affirmation sounds like: I am brave and follow my dreams. Also, you can pick a word of the year. For me, this word is BRAVE. Brave not only meaning doing more challenging things, which I also did a lot in 2021 I think, but being brave and choosing what NOT to do, to say no, and to really focus on a few things instead of multitasking and trying to do everything.
What is your intention for 2022?!
Wish you the best and a very Happy 2022! Take Care. Namaste.